if falling asleep forever
means seeing your face
what else is there to do
and if
writing those subtle letters
does nothing to persuade
what does that say
of the prayers
of my cause
if falling asleep quickers
means we get to have one more day
then what am i doing
awake at all these days
if falling asleep was simpler
then in my heart you could stay
but silence is only broken
by the harsh rise of day
what does that say
of my prayers
and of my cause
lay your head to rest
and say
of these subtle offers
in my heart there is something for you
if falling asleep was simpler
death would be no bother
you'd finish a quick joke in a second
instead
i have to remind myself to remember
these things everyday
for all that matters
i would of stayed always
but i have no choice
i have no luck
and
i have no reason
will you stay, walking away?
everything is in shambles
death's tide has made its way
but on the sand
our foot prints
shall not be washed away.
i love you, i miss you always.
rémi.
dimanche
jeudi
Silencieux.
a heart falls upon your diary
a man who left you behind
all those years ago
he never stopped loving you.
ashes drifting up stream
not in a bottle
but in the soil
to give birth to something more powerful
then lust nor hate
but love.
Do you know how that feels?
a man who left you behind
all those years ago
he never stopped loving you.
ashes drifting up stream
not in a bottle
but in the soil
to give birth to something more powerful
then lust nor hate
but love.
Do you know how that feels?
vendredi
xxxx
cher marcine,
she writes to me in the night
in the midst of his arm touching his head
gently, and quietly
whispering these thoughts to me
she describes a crime so complex
a heart beating without rest
as if it was meant to be
his caress was once so sensitive
his heart was once to tenderly
placed between the arms of wisdom
crossing the bridge to safety
her words speak of satisfaction
as he lies to me
and lyes with another
whispering to me
rest you do not find on the sea
sleep, i will awake from you
alone and trembling.
his hopes lay underneath his love
now lost and emptied
forgotten and abandoned at sea
in the night she whispers to me
with a knife at my neck
I tell you boy, this is reality
a future?
unlikely.
she writes to me in the sky tonight
warning me of what i already know
of whom has replaced me
his breath is peaceful and steady
his energy drained
his heart taken
frequently by the fragile type
she whispers to me this night
warning of what he shall take from me
and replace with another
over and over
leaving behind the scars of his psychosis
leaving me
unhealed
untouchable
incapable
and
incomplete
she writes to me in the night
to inform me of this void
that from the heavens she sees
as he feeds on another
while i wait for the return
of what belongs to me.
she writes to me in the night
in the midst of his arm touching his head
gently, and quietly
whispering these thoughts to me
she describes a crime so complex
a heart beating without rest
as if it was meant to be
his caress was once so sensitive
his heart was once to tenderly
placed between the arms of wisdom
crossing the bridge to safety
her words speak of satisfaction
as he lies to me
and lyes with another
whispering to me
rest you do not find on the sea
sleep, i will awake from you
alone and trembling.
his hopes lay underneath his love
now lost and emptied
forgotten and abandoned at sea
in the night she whispers to me
with a knife at my neck
I tell you boy, this is reality
a future?
unlikely.
she writes to me in the sky tonight
warning me of what i already know
of whom has replaced me
his breath is peaceful and steady
his energy drained
his heart taken
frequently by the fragile type
she whispers to me this night
warning of what he shall take from me
and replace with another
over and over
leaving behind the scars of his psychosis
leaving me
unhealed
untouchable
incapable
and
incomplete
she writes to me in the night
to inform me of this void
that from the heavens she sees
as he feeds on another
while i wait for the return
of what belongs to me.
chezsoi
" le coeur s'arrete si on ne peut plus continuer comme avant et si la tete se detache de tout et ne tourne plus rond, la personne perd ses attributions et ne profite plus de la vie. je pense pour vivre il faut s'y prendre tres jeune, parce qu'apres on perd toute sa valeur et personne ne vous fera de cadeaux" -emile ajar
vulgarities
'time is just a feeling passing us by.
life is just a mirage mostly unclear
a picasso looking himself in a mirror
so you see, do you see?
because this is all we have
and that is all the expression
i shall wish to seek
do you see?
time will take from us
nothing that we can't keep
and all that reaching for our eyes
may simply blind us
from what is contrived
what is simply
thoughts confined
but not prayers
so I shall prayer with production
for the action of this time
to be on my side.
'-z.
life is just a mirage mostly unclear
a picasso looking himself in a mirror
so you see, do you see?
because this is all we have
and that is all the expression
i shall wish to seek
do you see?
time will take from us
nothing that we can't keep
and all that reaching for our eyes
may simply blind us
from what is contrived
what is simply
thoughts confined
but not prayers
so I shall prayer with production
for the action of this time
to be on my side.
'-z.
xxx
* I had unprotected sex with a porcupine.
* I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
* The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.
* The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.
* This first one is kind of lame, but it's what I use most often: "Um, uh...I, uh....you see....I...uh...Well,...." At which they usually try to help me out by replying, "Did you fall?" And I say, "Yes, thanks."
* Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
* I hurt myself.
* I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.
* "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."
* "It's a long story." They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, "I've got time." Then I said, "I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it's obviously not THAT long."
* I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.
* I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.
* I slipped while making a salad.
* I fell asleep, and the clown got me.
* I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.
* I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.
* I took my lizards for a walk and they held on for dear life.
* The neighborhood cat and I had a disagreement about the paw prints on my truck.
* The police didn't comply with the terrorists' demands fast enough, so they took it out on us hostages.
* This first one is kind of lame, but it's what I use most often: "Um, uh...I, uh....you see....I...uh...Well,...." At which they usually try to help me out by replying, "Did you fall?" And I say, "Yes, thanks."
* Well, let me just tell you this: You should NEVER EVER, under ANY circumstances, go out with a guy/girl that you met on the internet.
* I hurt myself.
* I keep falling off of cliffs trying to catch that damned roadrunner.
* "I was oyster hunting." They give me a blank stare. Then I say, with a wink, "You've obviously never been oyster hunting before."
* "It's a long story." They usually leave me alone, but this one guy said, "I've got time." Then I said, "I fell. [long pause] Ok, so it's obviously not THAT long."
* I was at this party with Marilyn Manson and everyone was giving out hugs.
* I lost a fight with a can of tuna fish.
* I slipped while making a salad.
* I fell asleep, and the clown got me.
* I'll just put it this way: when they tell you not to feed the bears, it's for a damned good reason.
* I thought those security tags on pants just sprayed ink, but apparently they spray shards of broken glass, too.
jeudi
time expires?
and sometimes, more often then not a fragile spirit
will miss those who have gone ahead.
those who have left when time expires.
sometimes i wish, you could just be here one more day with me
time expires.
will miss those who have gone ahead.
those who have left when time expires.
sometimes i wish, you could just be here one more day with me
time expires.
PLUS
'time is just a feeling passing us by.
life is just a mirage mostly unclear
a picasso looking himself in a mirror
so you see, do you see?
because this is all we have
and that is all the expression
i shall wish to seek
do you see?
time will take from us
nothing that we can't keep
and all that reaching for our eyes
may simply blind us
from what is contrived
what is simply
thoughts confined
but not prayers
so I shall pray with production
for the action of this time
to be on my side.
life is just a mirage mostly unclear
a picasso looking himself in a mirror
so you see, do you see?
because this is all we have
and that is all the expression
i shall wish to seek
do you see?
time will take from us
nothing that we can't keep
and all that reaching for our eyes
may simply blind us
from what is contrived
what is simply
thoughts confined
but not prayers
so I shall pray with production
for the action of this time
to be on my side.
dimanche
samedi
i have the fever.
i have the fever of history
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
i wish i didn't have to hide behind words to say something real.
but i do, so this perhaps will be the only time i ever get closed to doing just that, the things i wish i could say more easily.
one arm on the floor
as the other pushes away
questions; what is this feeling
is this shall the tides shall turn
against construction
contre la vie
dreams become wishes
whispers in a not so virgin ear
lords who watch as the night falls
one hand grasping the floor
one thought floating in the air
an infection rotting from inside to out
a lost reflection
sin and doubt
left contrasting
a fall forever lasting
pits of dreary envy
as that hand searches out for serenity
a lost cause
a fallen angel
the saviour forgot to name him gabriel
without a second thought now
nor action that could salvage
peace to you
from the lord's mouth
and,
as that hand falls to the floor
rests the secrets of a night
delirious yet discrete
in two seperate directions
we find ourselves
yet what is left
the questions we ask
when nothing is left
and the saviour
is watching
during the depart of my own dignity.
one arm on the floor
as the other pushes away
questions; what is this feeling
is this shall the tides shall turn
against construction
contre la vie
dreams become wishes
whispers in a not so virgin ear
lords who watch as the night falls
one hand grasping the floor
one thought floating in the air
an infection rotting from inside to out
a lost reflection
sin and doubt
left contrasting
a fall forever lasting
pits of dreary envy
as that hand searches out for serenity
a lost cause
a fallen angel
the saviour forgot to name him gabriel
without a second thought now
nor action that could salvage
peace to you
from the lord's mouth
and,
as that hand falls to the floor
rests the secrets of a night
delirious yet discrete
in two seperate directions
we find ourselves
yet what is left
the questions we ask
when nothing is left
and the saviour
is watching
during the depart of my own dignity.
raped and scathed.
Was it wrong to want something beautiful
or was it wrong to embrace what i envy
words you are not beautiful
you are the obesity of all art
fragile, vulnerable, and idealistic
representing that which we wish could be
representing that which dissapoints
this should not be.
so, was it wrong to expose that side of thee
naked and sometimes flesh dripping
without a point, but then again
what has a point....money?
so,
was it wrong to want something beautiful
even if it meant not being set completly free?
is it wrong to want what is robbed from ourselves
taken without a care, as if it were a hobby
was it wrong to seek out vengeance
against such a sentence
that led to our ambiguity
so, tell me then,
are you just as ugly?
raped and scathed
every self dignity
has left me
and still then
will this be the end
or was it wrong to embrace what i envy
words you are not beautiful
you are the obesity of all art
fragile, vulnerable, and idealistic
representing that which we wish could be
representing that which dissapoints
this should not be.
so, was it wrong to expose that side of thee
naked and sometimes flesh dripping
without a point, but then again
what has a point....money?
so,
was it wrong to want something beautiful
even if it meant not being set completly free?
is it wrong to want what is robbed from ourselves
taken without a care, as if it were a hobby
was it wrong to seek out vengeance
against such a sentence
that led to our ambiguity
so, tell me then,
are you just as ugly?
raped and scathed
every self dignity
has left me
and still then
will this be the end
vendredi
lundi
so i just don't like christmas and if you do don't bother reading this.
Christmas seems like a bitter time to remind us of what is no longer present
instead of being able to give something to show the appreciation of what was there
we are lost in the midst of trying to refill, and figure out how to overcome such occurances. The world does their holiday shopping and those of us whom can simply watch feel those shovels stabbing even deeper digging a deeper hole where there is already nothing. That was very emo, but if you think outside of yourself for 2 seconds the entire alienation process to those whom are simply abandoned for the christmas spirit by those who do not truly understand. Hopefully one day in my life this holiday will cease to exist as I could never now joyfully celebrate it even if the possibility arose for I would feel too sympathetic to those who would find themselves in a similar position.
The avoidance of this day is top priority
the aspiration to feel absolutely nothing
to not feel hurt nor anger nor festive joy either.
to simply ignore that such a day exists
when every place you usually go to fill up is closed
and everyone you usually turned to is occupied
reminding you of your own alienated existence
reminding you the dangers of attachment
and the pain of failing to prove yourself wrong on these theories.
Christmas is evil and I do not think I shall ever understand the true meaning of its existence. I will not wish anyone a merry Christmas because there is nothing to be merry about when your left to count your losses instead of celebrating what is there.
one day you shall understand, when mum is dead. when dad is too ashamed of his bastard son to allow the world seeing them together. when siblings become ancestors and lovers become heart breakers. one day you shall understand why this year especially some wish this day would disappear for it is reminders of reckless abandonment that prevent life from sincerely moving forward. one day you shall understand when there is nothing to celebrate except for the uphill struggle it seems you are destined to lose. perhaps some have already lost, perhaps we are slowing being defeated as christmas comes around to bury us in winter's snow.
l'article de mort et le noël.
instead of being able to give something to show the appreciation of what was there
we are lost in the midst of trying to refill, and figure out how to overcome such occurances. The world does their holiday shopping and those of us whom can simply watch feel those shovels stabbing even deeper digging a deeper hole where there is already nothing. That was very emo, but if you think outside of yourself for 2 seconds the entire alienation process to those whom are simply abandoned for the christmas spirit by those who do not truly understand. Hopefully one day in my life this holiday will cease to exist as I could never now joyfully celebrate it even if the possibility arose for I would feel too sympathetic to those who would find themselves in a similar position.
The avoidance of this day is top priority
the aspiration to feel absolutely nothing
to not feel hurt nor anger nor festive joy either.
to simply ignore that such a day exists
when every place you usually go to fill up is closed
and everyone you usually turned to is occupied
reminding you of your own alienated existence
reminding you the dangers of attachment
and the pain of failing to prove yourself wrong on these theories.
Christmas is evil and I do not think I shall ever understand the true meaning of its existence. I will not wish anyone a merry Christmas because there is nothing to be merry about when your left to count your losses instead of celebrating what is there.
one day you shall understand, when mum is dead. when dad is too ashamed of his bastard son to allow the world seeing them together. when siblings become ancestors and lovers become heart breakers. one day you shall understand why this year especially some wish this day would disappear for it is reminders of reckless abandonment that prevent life from sincerely moving forward. one day you shall understand when there is nothing to celebrate except for the uphill struggle it seems you are destined to lose. perhaps some have already lost, perhaps we are slowing being defeated as christmas comes around to bury us in winter's snow.
l'article de mort et le noël.
mercredi
shame, au revoir.
suppose this makes us very fucked up.holding hands with the invisible man,first day of my life, glad i didn't die before meeting you. but now you have left me waiting.
mardi
im glad i met you.
i'm glad i got to meet you before leaving
and if there shall be no more evenings
if it is so that no more of us shall last
then i guess we should be leaving
i'm glad i got to meet you before i died
and
i'm glad that
in my your heart
you are
what they shall find
now go fourth in winter nights
as snowfalls daydreaming
tell me what of your life
consists of me
as i say
the same things constantly
if there was a way to go
without saying goodbye
could we do it
if there was a way to return
to a better time
shall we try it?
big brother up and left one day
said to him, I'm glad I met you befored I died.
But oh, how i wished how you would stay
and if you can't maybe you could convince
another stay stay behind, as i wave goodbye
you know oneday it will be my day
shall i try it on
if there was anyway
to return to a better time
would you even know when a better time was?
so i up and left one day
you know, i've got much more to say
and the more things roll
the more they stay the same
big brother picked me up today
he took me to a place where
pain and suffering goes away
a place he promised for me oneday
oh, i wouldn't mind it to be today
but still, you who rejects me
insist that i cling to the earth
stubbornly, and selfishly.
perhaps there is hope in us again
sat by the phone today
waited for a message to come to me and say
all those words i've waited for here since may
but nothing rang, and nothing changed
just another day waiting
just another day walking
praying, and migrating
nothing rang, and nothing changed
for it is now up to you, and only you
big brother up and left today
not much explanation
but sometimes i feel the same
as though disintgrating
is the only way....
now i'm sad that i met you
if you had no intention to stay
rip a heart out with no idea how to replace it
let me know if you can
before we fade away.
as big brother will come by someday
with no explanation
to disintigrate.
and if there shall be no more evenings
if it is so that no more of us shall last
then i guess we should be leaving
i'm glad i got to meet you before i died
and
i'm glad that
in my your heart
you are
what they shall find
now go fourth in winter nights
as snowfalls daydreaming
tell me what of your life
consists of me
as i say
the same things constantly
if there was a way to go
without saying goodbye
could we do it
if there was a way to return
to a better time
shall we try it?
big brother up and left one day
said to him, I'm glad I met you befored I died.
But oh, how i wished how you would stay
and if you can't maybe you could convince
another stay stay behind, as i wave goodbye
you know oneday it will be my day
shall i try it on
if there was anyway
to return to a better time
would you even know when a better time was?
so i up and left one day
you know, i've got much more to say
and the more things roll
the more they stay the same
big brother picked me up today
he took me to a place where
pain and suffering goes away
a place he promised for me oneday
oh, i wouldn't mind it to be today
but still, you who rejects me
insist that i cling to the earth
stubbornly, and selfishly.
perhaps there is hope in us again
sat by the phone today
waited for a message to come to me and say
all those words i've waited for here since may
but nothing rang, and nothing changed
just another day waiting
just another day walking
praying, and migrating
nothing rang, and nothing changed
for it is now up to you, and only you
big brother up and left today
not much explanation
but sometimes i feel the same
as though disintgrating
is the only way....
now i'm sad that i met you
if you had no intention to stay
rip a heart out with no idea how to replace it
let me know if you can
before we fade away.
as big brother will come by someday
with no explanation
to disintigrate.
+
i'm scared I will die not at peace, not acting on all that I believed, not reinstating all that I have felt. I'm scared I will die like they say...just as you enter the world. Alone. Each step your glad you make it at the beginning but then you realize it will be the same shit for therapy. I'm just scared I will never heal, that we shall never heal. I'm scared that you will never grow just as he never did, that stubborn selfish personalities will prevail as history has said it to be. I'm scared to realise how pointless something so important to me is à l'autre monde. I'm scared I will leave like him, insecure and unsure. I'm scared I will run like him not knowing what else to do, frusterated and sick of searching for solutions. Its like we say, sometimes you must abandon ship, there are no solutions. what happens when you are the ship being abandoned. Do you think of it, as you leave the ship sinking, or do you continue to swim away. not doing anything because you are afraid it will do nothing in the end to change the path. its not worth investing within, its not worth staying within, its not worth the time nor the effort. its not worth the risk. what happens when you are the ship who sinks, and even your captain abandons ship. Do you give up, can you avoid sinking? i'm scared you didn't hear..you didn't listen...i'm scared because i have seen what is has done, and i know what it can do. i'm scared because i've gone in every direction and it all leads me back to this. how can it just be me. its not just me. i'm scared because you'll never realise how much i suffered, how much i tried, and will never care to realise, nor learn nor take the time to make things right. i'm scared because i know i have been left to linger in the last stages of something once so brilliant. i'm scared there will never be a sign, i'm scared there will never be a relief. the way things have been left make it impossible for such a reality to exist. Selfish humans, taking their lives, walking away when you need them most. giving up on you at the same time convincing you not to at all, its the most hypocritical, most humiliating experience i have ever been through. when will you confront me, when will you give me what i deserve, when will i have back my dignity. when will you learn to stay away if you can't give back. when will you figure out that this will not simply go away. when will you stop invading the very little i have left without giving me back the love i deserve. when will you realize its not just a word. that its killing me how it is this way. truly and completly ripping out every bone from my body every 100 times a day i remember. it is not ok, it will never be ok until you are brave enough to make it right, until you change. if not you are just the same as him, a man who decided to give up and runaway.
never again
you sleep.
i lay awake,
for we both search
this serenity.
i fight
you push
i beg
you nudge
for we both search
for this serenity.
if it does not exist
then how can you search
in another's?
to find the same solution
to prove my own point a million times
shove it on my face
go on put my tears on display
there is a difference
between living life
and controlling who you humilate
but it will always be up to you to change
the error of your ways
and it will always
affect my outlook forever.
never again
unless you can change.
i lay awake,
for we both search
this serenity.
i fight
you push
i beg
you nudge
for we both search
for this serenity.
if it does not exist
then how can you search
in another's?
to find the same solution
to prove my own point a million times
shove it on my face
go on put my tears on display
there is a difference
between living life
and controlling who you humilate
but it will always be up to you to change
the error of your ways
and it will always
affect my outlook forever.
never again
unless you can change.
bright eyes, first day of my life.
This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours was the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning?
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you just woke up
And you said
"This is the first day of my life
Glad I didn't die before I met you
Now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"
So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides, maybe this time is different
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours was the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever, I especially am slow
But I realized how I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning?
And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed
You felt as if you just woke up
And you said
"This is the first day of my life
Glad I didn't die before I met you
Now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"
So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides, maybe this time is different
vendredi
jeudi
ugly.
Was it wrong to want something beautiful
or was it wrong to embrace what i envy
words you are not beautiful
you are the obesity of all art
fragile, vulnerable, and idealistic
representing that which we wish could be
representing that which dissapoints
this should not be.
so, was it wrong to expose that side of thee
naked and sometimes flesh dripping
without a point, but then again
what has a point....money?
so,
was it wrong to want something beautiful
even if it meant not being set completly free?
is it wrong to want what is robbed from ourselves
taken without a care, as if it were a hobby
was it wrong to seek out vengeance
against such a sentence
that led to our ambiguity
so, tell me then,
are you just as ugly?
raped and scathed
every self dignity
has left me
and still then
will this be the end
or was it wrong to embrace what i envy
words you are not beautiful
you are the obesity of all art
fragile, vulnerable, and idealistic
representing that which we wish could be
representing that which dissapoints
this should not be.
so, was it wrong to expose that side of thee
naked and sometimes flesh dripping
without a point, but then again
what has a point....money?
so,
was it wrong to want something beautiful
even if it meant not being set completly free?
is it wrong to want what is robbed from ourselves
taken without a care, as if it were a hobby
was it wrong to seek out vengeance
against such a sentence
that led to our ambiguity
so, tell me then,
are you just as ugly?
raped and scathed
every self dignity
has left me
and still then
will this be the end
beauty is black and white.
is there something beautiful
the skeptical conclusion
and the rational solution
points in the direction
of medicority, of temporary.
beauty is black and white.
the skeptical conclusion
and the rational solution
points in the direction
of medicority, of temporary.
beauty is black and white.
i have the fever.
i have the fever of history
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
60.
the question is if, and it is a very strong if.
if the tides are not to high
if the obscure does not become to irrational
if the world around me reaches a level of tranquility
will i gain myself back?
if there is reality i know it
if there is betrayel i have met it
if there is deception, i've slept with it
but if there is to be hope in any of this
then what is floating around me
then push fourth and show me
just how to be brave.
if the tides are not to high
if the obscure does not become to irrational
if the world around me reaches a level of tranquility
will i gain myself back?
if there is reality i know it
if there is betrayel i have met it
if there is deception, i've slept with it
but if there is to be hope in any of this
then what is floating around me
then push fourth and show me
just how to be brave.
à mon frangin.
I, me, mine.
I wasn't ready for your clock to stop ticking
and I,
I wasn't prepared to read the writing on the wall
to clean up the blood in the bathtub
I thought, they all thought, it would be mine.
Me, my hands
Weren't ready to pull these roots out of the ground.
and say I'll remember you, knowing there is no more time to heal
these broken hearts,
sometimes they die.
I, me, mine.
Wasn't ready for the truth
when you broke into my life
so, I, me and mine
tried to hide hoping for their to be more in time.
and Time, you were not on my side.
and Circumstance beckoned me to close my eyes
and Consequence turned down the blind
now it is I, me and mine
It was, I, me and Mine
my fault and my loss
when the family tree went crumbling
It was me, and I alone
when you were having a life.
But, I, it was I
who wasn't ready for time to take it's course
did nature take it's place?
did fate have it's way?
or did I get lost in the storyline?
Now it was I
who looked across the riverside
the rocky sea's between us
thought, I.
I had found a rescue boat
a real love
a secret hope, a hidden suprise.
Yes, it was him, he, me, mine and I.
it was him, who's letter spelled out the words goodbye.
and it was I.
it is I, whom he has left behind.
it is this image after all that there once was
It is I, and only I.
Looking at your reflection through the hour glass
It is I, and only I.
whilst they buried the remainders of a man I once knew
It was I, alone, not ready to say goodbye.
and you whom decided
In which direction the wind blows
lost up north
seeking answers to the west
searching for expression in the homeland
the golden egg, and the mundane egg
The mundane egg, the only left in the carton
I was here, alone and inside
When he left my life
when they buried you
these parts of me
have been trying to find
a way out, a way up
a destiny.
I was here, alone and inside
When the doors were closed
and as,
they were burying you
he was leaving me too
pushed to the limit
the medecine closet
and if I couldn't have the house
Could I of had the garden?
but the gardener, he stopped watering.
It was me, mine and I.
I wasn't ready for your clock to stop ticking
and I,
I wasn't prepared to read the writing on the wall
to clean up the blood in the bathtub
I thought, they all thought, it would be mine.
Me, my hands
Weren't ready to pull these roots out of the ground.
and say I'll remember you, knowing there is no more time to heal
these broken hearts,
sometimes they die.
I, me, mine.
Wasn't ready for the truth
when you broke into my life
so, I, me and mine
tried to hide hoping for their to be more in time.
and Time, you were not on my side.
and Circumstance beckoned me to close my eyes
and Consequence turned down the blind
now it is I, me and mine
It was, I, me and Mine
my fault and my loss
when the family tree went crumbling
It was me, and I alone
when you were having a life.
But, I, it was I
who wasn't ready for time to take it's course
did nature take it's place?
did fate have it's way?
or did I get lost in the storyline?
Now it was I
who looked across the riverside
the rocky sea's between us
thought, I.
I had found a rescue boat
a real love
a secret hope, a hidden suprise.
Yes, it was him, he, me, mine and I.
it was him, who's letter spelled out the words goodbye.
and it was I.
it is I, whom he has left behind.
it is this image after all that there once was
It is I, and only I.
Looking at your reflection through the hour glass
It is I, and only I.
whilst they buried the remainders of a man I once knew
It was I, alone, not ready to say goodbye.
and you whom decided
In which direction the wind blows
lost up north
seeking answers to the west
searching for expression in the homeland
the golden egg, and the mundane egg
The mundane egg, the only left in the carton
I was here, alone and inside
When he left my life
when they buried you
these parts of me
have been trying to find
a way out, a way up
a destiny.
I was here, alone and inside
When the doors were closed
and as,
they were burying you
he was leaving me too
pushed to the limit
the medecine closet
and if I couldn't have the house
Could I of had the garden?
but the gardener, he stopped watering.
It was me, mine and I.
the mundane egg
can't stand the idea of rotting in the ground
there are simply gut instincts for which we must report
didn't see what was happening, texting on the phone
trains passing by, rats being run over, drifting on the line
learned of an emotion so sobering
feel no longer the hit of ecstasy
can't feel the light of day
can't stand the feeling of rotting underground
he explains, the desire of cremation
the hope of fullfilling all expectations
in rhythm with the gates
a surface call going deep within the soul
didn't know what was to come
but went through the doors anyways
the last one, he was so young.
from time to time
the mundane egg asks
what is the last moment in time
before we learn
when is the last moment in time
before we give what we can take
cradle this shell
crumble the pain
bubblewrap the shock
and give what we can take
this is where he fell
fell out
of the mundane egg.
there are simply gut instincts for which we must report
didn't see what was happening, texting on the phone
trains passing by, rats being run over, drifting on the line
learned of an emotion so sobering
feel no longer the hit of ecstasy
can't feel the light of day
can't stand the feeling of rotting underground
he explains, the desire of cremation
the hope of fullfilling all expectations
in rhythm with the gates
a surface call going deep within the soul
didn't know what was to come
but went through the doors anyways
the last one, he was so young.
from time to time
the mundane egg asks
what is the last moment in time
before we learn
when is the last moment in time
before we give what we can take
cradle this shell
crumble the pain
bubblewrap the shock
and give what we can take
this is where he fell
fell out
of the mundane egg.
5.
the replacement of unsearchable hope
patted his hair down one more time
looked in the mirror for someone to find
himself, and simply himself
a replacement for the lost ones
the ones left behind, is there a place in heaven
is there still time left to go one last time
or are those arms empty this time
orphans use up their monthly passes
in two weeks time.
maybe the most beautiful moment is yet to come
he held is breath in anticipation
take what has been left here for you
a hard life's lesson is what you shall find
under the covers, in the stalls
inbetween the lines of fate and mercy
dashing between gratitude and confusion
he cried, he said i'm sorry.
then he looked upon
his old friend, his heart's best
kittens are elders at this age
the article of death
mother natures decree declairs
amongst entering this moment
all is set free, and afterwords
kittens don't feel a thing
patted his hair down one more time
looked in the mirror for someone to find
himself, and simply himself
a replacement for the lost ones
the ones left behind, is there a place in heaven
is there still time left to go one last time
or are those arms empty this time
orphans use up their monthly passes
in two weeks time.
maybe the most beautiful moment is yet to come
he held is breath in anticipation
take what has been left here for you
a hard life's lesson is what you shall find
under the covers, in the stalls
inbetween the lines of fate and mercy
dashing between gratitude and confusion
he cried, he said i'm sorry.
then he looked upon
his old friend, his heart's best
kittens are elders at this age
the article of death
mother natures decree declairs
amongst entering this moment
all is set free, and afterwords
kittens don't feel a thing
4.
a little masochist sits faithfully
a little pacifist embraces fraternity
a little egoiste tastes the remedy
everyone loves to see a train wreck
everyone loves to watch a car accident
everyone loves to see the plane crash
a little masochist with two birds in the sky
one morning that felt disconnected from the night
a little egoiste felt his heart start to wonder why
everyone loves to watch a train wreck
do you find them at your side
the dramatist envoking a stage performance
the columnist searching the words to explain
do you find them at your side
a little masochist's hands they intertwine
the days they are not playing with knives
that skeleton we call life
will you watch him crash into the enemy of time
a little masochist sits faithfully
an egg falling out of the nest
a fetus devoured whole
after a few refrains
a little masochist waits patiently
wondering if this is the last day
a little egoiste screams aimlessly
angry at everyone and anyone
whom he has short changed
a little pacifist disgraces maturity
losing all dignity picks up his gun
all the time finding his sweet tooth
the planets have lost their dignity
SAVIOUR SAVOUR OUR SOULS.
tout le monde loves to watch a car crash
a little masochist picks at your hand, as you slap it away
guess that is enough of a confession for today
a little pacifist embraces fraternity
a little egoiste tastes the remedy
everyone loves to see a train wreck
everyone loves to watch a car accident
everyone loves to see the plane crash
a little masochist with two birds in the sky
one morning that felt disconnected from the night
a little egoiste felt his heart start to wonder why
everyone loves to watch a train wreck
do you find them at your side
the dramatist envoking a stage performance
the columnist searching the words to explain
do you find them at your side
a little masochist's hands they intertwine
the days they are not playing with knives
that skeleton we call life
will you watch him crash into the enemy of time
a little masochist sits faithfully
an egg falling out of the nest
a fetus devoured whole
after a few refrains
a little masochist waits patiently
wondering if this is the last day
a little egoiste screams aimlessly
angry at everyone and anyone
whom he has short changed
a little pacifist disgraces maturity
losing all dignity picks up his gun
all the time finding his sweet tooth
the planets have lost their dignity
SAVIOUR SAVOUR OUR SOULS.
tout le monde loves to watch a car crash
a little masochist picks at your hand, as you slap it away
guess that is enough of a confession for today
3.
there has been no point to a single word spoken, a single letter given, a single book written.
then life has been up to this moment in vain
and if, you do not tap deep into the vein of the source
then life, life up to this moment has been in vain.
if
there has been no logic taken
no respect given
no knowledge born
no problems discerned
then, life, life has been in vain.
then life has been up to this moment in vain
and if, you do not tap deep into the vein of the source
then life, life up to this moment has been in vain.
if
there has been no logic taken
no respect given
no knowledge born
no problems discerned
then, life, life has been in vain.
2.
22:52 - +
i
lay awake and exhausted
with
a bottle of pills beckoning me forward
who
wants to feel anything real anymore
no
we avoid what is real
hoping
to find an escape for the consequences are too great
consequences
the greatest tax added to my life
riches
are not enough to heal a broken man
boy
am i a boy still climbing up a hill
glass
cutting into my knees
love
dripping out of me
lost
i'm losing myself i'm losing me
telephone
would you ring, would he call
gain
part of myself back again
earn
a bit of respect
for
what the tides have surfaced
and
hold down just what consequence has brought us
quit
he says don't give in don't give up
then
don't walk away from me so easily
if
we can both exsist in the sunlight
moonlight
must heal our shattered souls
bring
us out of this storm
Care
start giving exactly what it is you take
Start
caring about the value of life for christ's sake.
Begging
for the chance for the hope and belief
Deepen
do you burn another or wrap the wounds of your last victim
do you burn another before you heal the wounds of your last victim
i
lay awake and exhausted
with
a bottle of pills beckoning me forward
who
wants to feel anything real anymore
no
we avoid what is real
hoping
to find an escape for the consequences are too great
consequences
the greatest tax added to my life
riches
are not enough to heal a broken man
boy
am i a boy still climbing up a hill
glass
cutting into my knees
love
dripping out of me
lost
i'm losing myself i'm losing me
telephone
would you ring, would he call
gain
part of myself back again
earn
a bit of respect
for
what the tides have surfaced
and
hold down just what consequence has brought us
quit
he says don't give in don't give up
then
don't walk away from me so easily
if
we can both exsist in the sunlight
moonlight
must heal our shattered souls
bring
us out of this storm
Care
start giving exactly what it is you take
Start
caring about the value of life for christ's sake.
Begging
for the chance for the hope and belief
Deepen
do you burn another or wrap the wounds of your last victim
do you burn another before you heal the wounds of your last victim
i love you.
wrote something meaningful ;
"In death there is new life. Pain and love are not the same thing, although usually intertwined. Atleast in my life.
They are two very different, mostly indistinguishable feelings. The difference should be frighteningly obvious, but to someone like me, to hurt is to feel. To feel is to love and to love is to live. I'll hang on to any shred of it even if I have to comprimise my own values. So thanks for the favor. Thanks for your courage to step outside the comfort zone. I love you."
"In death there is new life. Pain and love are not the same thing, although usually intertwined. Atleast in my life.
They are two very different, mostly indistinguishable feelings. The difference should be frighteningly obvious, but to someone like me, to hurt is to feel. To feel is to love and to love is to live. I'll hang on to any shred of it even if I have to comprimise my own values. So thanks for the favor. Thanks for your courage to step outside the comfort zone. I love you."
romance.
don't take another's heart if you are not ready to give up yours.
don't get lost in a romance if your not willing to get lost.
don't gaze into another's eyes, unless your willing to go blind.
don't fall in love, unless your willing for your life to change.
don't fall in love unless you can combat pain and jealousy
don't fall in love if the size of your wallet is too much of a priority.
is it worth breaking the heart of another who will do all of these things?
a downfall, an insecurity that will destroy everything and everyone involved.
if not, love is suicide, in a figurative and sometimes lit. sense
don't get lost in a romance if your not willing to get lost.
don't gaze into another's eyes, unless your willing to go blind.
don't fall in love, unless your willing for your life to change.
don't fall in love unless you can combat pain and jealousy
don't fall in love if the size of your wallet is too much of a priority.
is it worth breaking the heart of another who will do all of these things?
a downfall, an insecurity that will destroy everything and everyone involved.
if not, love is suicide, in a figurative and sometimes lit. sense
+
your words are like a steamroller plowing down my every sensitivity.
your actions are like friendly fire mistakingly injuring me
your heart is unplugged from your head, from your soul
and i, i'm the one to see something more
when you are screaming and i am crying
when you are shouting and cursing endlessly
at the end of the night, it is i
in shambles, in shackles
reminding you there is something more
then the anger in your eyes
then the hate your words disguise
the harsh reality is
your patience doesn't last long
like my mother's
a few minutes of disagreement
and she is angry
pots flying in the air
more yelling
more screaming
this is insanity
but i see something more
then a panicked reaction
then a frusterated impulse
a raised temper
i'll have you know
we aren't that different after all.
why did i stick around?
i had nothing better else going on.
i had no one else to count on
i had nothing to hold onto
except for myself
and in you, i see so much of me.
once pissed off, never turned off
once blood risen, the boiler burns
a steam , a smoke, that engulfs all
why did i stick around?
because i know
these golden threads run deep
and through every war
and every battle
and every emotional rattled
i know there is something more, hiding.
that's all i've got to hold on to
there is no option b.
you don't care
you don't see me the same
you will never fight for me
as i have been raised to fight
stubbornly, and hopefully
in the belief of another's capability.
you don't care to notice
you don't care to take the time to see
you will never fight for me
as i have fought to prove
that the good inside of you prevails
as i have fought to destroy the negativity
you just watch it bite at my feet.
i will loose this war
and you will probably never even acknowledge me
but unto you , i saw something worth cherishing
and it didn't have to be this way nor end this way
sometimes, we must wait it out, we must hold down
and other times we must realize change is coming
it didn't have to be, but it's a question of maturity
and even if it takes my life,
it was worth it all
you were worth it all
for i never lost that part of me
whom fought stubbornly
and if this is my defeat
if you choose to come against me
cowardly, we're not that different
you just are failing to see into reality
and even if it takes my life
a lesson passed on
you were worth it all
and that is what i will always see
you should of done the same for me
but this message now shall make sense
and ask, what shall comes of what remains?
the next step is yours
will it ease the suffering?
we all know you've got a much deeper capacity
we all know you could stop any great flood
we all know you could keep swimming
but i am drownding in those same waters
it doesn't take much to see
but instead you abandon me
break me whilst healing
and replace me.
-
when someone gives you a piece of themselves
it's with good reason
your actions are like friendly fire mistakingly injuring me
your heart is unplugged from your head, from your soul
and i, i'm the one to see something more
when you are screaming and i am crying
when you are shouting and cursing endlessly
at the end of the night, it is i
in shambles, in shackles
reminding you there is something more
then the anger in your eyes
then the hate your words disguise
the harsh reality is
your patience doesn't last long
like my mother's
a few minutes of disagreement
and she is angry
pots flying in the air
more yelling
more screaming
this is insanity
but i see something more
then a panicked reaction
then a frusterated impulse
a raised temper
i'll have you know
we aren't that different after all.
why did i stick around?
i had nothing better else going on.
i had no one else to count on
i had nothing to hold onto
except for myself
and in you, i see so much of me.
once pissed off, never turned off
once blood risen, the boiler burns
a steam , a smoke, that engulfs all
why did i stick around?
because i know
these golden threads run deep
and through every war
and every battle
and every emotional rattled
i know there is something more, hiding.
that's all i've got to hold on to
there is no option b.
you don't care
you don't see me the same
you will never fight for me
as i have been raised to fight
stubbornly, and hopefully
in the belief of another's capability.
you don't care to notice
you don't care to take the time to see
you will never fight for me
as i have fought to prove
that the good inside of you prevails
as i have fought to destroy the negativity
you just watch it bite at my feet.
i will loose this war
and you will probably never even acknowledge me
but unto you , i saw something worth cherishing
and it didn't have to be this way nor end this way
sometimes, we must wait it out, we must hold down
and other times we must realize change is coming
it didn't have to be, but it's a question of maturity
and even if it takes my life,
it was worth it all
you were worth it all
for i never lost that part of me
whom fought stubbornly
and if this is my defeat
if you choose to come against me
cowardly, we're not that different
you just are failing to see into reality
and even if it takes my life
a lesson passed on
you were worth it all
and that is what i will always see
you should of done the same for me
but this message now shall make sense
and ask, what shall comes of what remains?
the next step is yours
will it ease the suffering?
we all know you've got a much deeper capacity
we all know you could stop any great flood
we all know you could keep swimming
but i am drownding in those same waters
it doesn't take much to see
but instead you abandon me
break me whilst healing
and replace me.
-
when someone gives you a piece of themselves
it's with good reason
peacefully.
02:26 - peacefully.
i have the fever of history
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
i have the fever of history
running through my veins
and
i have the wisdom of misery
wrapped around my legs
there.
and here are you are
tarnishing your silver
your kiss is bitter
the strong after taste of vulgarity.
i have the fever of history
yet
let me know
if you can still see the lemontrees
the crystal ball says
it is far from over
yet my stomach is empty
refill me, replenish me
give unto me that generosity
so i make go to sleep peacefully.
no words.
these are not words
nor thoughts
nor feelings
that have been acted upon
yet agressions
against progression
Even finding the capacity to say
in generosity
in awakening
Have you the better stance
yet what fee
yes look at me
As if I already knew
descriptions of the seasons
love and let go
as if they were supposed to be interwined at all
these are not words
nor representation
of reality, nor life.
if it shall not stand barren in the winter
if it shall not stand alive in the summer
what right do you have to even pretend
even when it rests in your arms
even when it kisses your heart
and touches you deeply
seasons, they move in circles
one could say, no matter what
you won't take the chance
instead, resting aside
when the actions are yours
for the revolutionary.
nor thoughts
nor feelings
that have been acted upon
yet agressions
against progression
Even finding the capacity to say
in generosity
in awakening
Have you the better stance
yet what fee
yes look at me
As if I already knew
descriptions of the seasons
love and let go
as if they were supposed to be interwined at all
these are not words
nor representation
of reality, nor life.
if it shall not stand barren in the winter
if it shall not stand alive in the summer
what right do you have to even pretend
even when it rests in your arms
even when it kisses your heart
and touches you deeply
seasons, they move in circles
one could say, no matter what
you won't take the chance
instead, resting aside
when the actions are yours
for the revolutionary.
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